Navigating Grief as a Man: Taking Control of Your Healing

Grief is a deeply personal journey, and it’s one that no two men walk the same way. While the support of others can be comforting, even the best intentions can sometimes add to the weight you’re carrying. Condolences, though well-meaning, can unintentionally complicate the healing process. The truth is, grief doesn’t come with a timeline, and as men, we often feel the pressure to deal with it in ways that might not feel authentic to us.

When you're already in the thick of grief, the flood of sympathy messages can hit harder than expected. Well-wishes are meant to comfort, but instead, they often amplify the sadness and anxiety you’re already feeling. The constant reminders of your loss keep your mind on high alert, struggling to process everything at once. These overwhelming messages can delay the natural healing process, leaving you stuck in emotional turmoil and further away from finding peace.

On top of this, there's the weight of the expectation to respond or show gratitude for every

message. It might feel like you have to acknowledge every condolence, but the reality is, this can be emotionally draining. It clashes with your need to grieve privately, to process your emotions without feeling like you’re being watched or judged. Society often pushes the idea that men must remain strong, that we should carry on no matter what. But suppressing the feelings that need to be felt only prolongs the pain, making the journey through grief even harder.

Even when people mean well, their words can sometimes hit the wrong way. Phrases like “He’s in a better place” or “It was their time” can feel dismissive or intrusive when you’re struggling with sorrow. These comments, although meant to provide comfort, can deepen your sense of isolation, making it harder to feel truly understood. In these moments, silence or simply being present can offer far more comfort than words ever could.

Grief has a way of anchoring you in the past, especially when others constantly acknowledge the loss. While it’s important to recognize the pain, the constant reminders can make it harder to move forward and heal. It’s like the wound is never given time to begin healing because the focus remains on the loss, rather than on your journey through it.

When offering condolences, it's crucial to remember that grief can’t be fixed by words alone. It’s a long, winding journey that requires space, time, and genuine empathy. Sometimes, just being there—without overwhelming or imposing—can provide the most comfort. A simple message that doesn’t demand a response or a quiet presence that offers support without pressure can be more meaningful than you might realise.

Grief doesn’t follow a set timeline, and there’s no single way to heal. For us as men, it’s important to recognise that our emotional journey through loss is uniquely ours. Don’t let the expectations of others dictate how you grieve. Take the time you need, at your own pace, and know that you don’t have to carry it all alone.

Grieving as a man can feel isolating, especially when the world around you expects you to move on quickly. If you're struggling to process your emotions and find a way forward, the Rewired for Men programme can help. In three transformative sessions, we’ll work together to reset the mental patterns that keep you stuck, build emotional resilience, and give you the tools to navigate life’s toughest moments with strength and clarity.

Don’t let grief define your journey—take the first step towards healing and emotional freedom.