Living on Your Terms: A Man’s Guide to Overcoming the Conditioning That Holds You Back

As men, we’ve spent years living under expectations, whether from our families, schools, or society. From the moment we’re born, we’re shaped by external pressures—expectations about work, relationships, health, and how we’re “supposed” to show up in the world. These influences often become so ingrained that we start to believe they’re part of who we are. But what if we took a step back and realised that we don’t have to carry these old narratives any longer? What if we could rewrite the story and live life on our own terms?

For many of us, success was tied to external markers—titles, income, status—things that society values. We were taught to measure our worth by productivity, by how much we achieve. But real success isn’t about meeting someone else’s standards. It’s about finding your own purpose and passion, about creating a life that feels meaningful to you—not defined by the job you hold or the money you make.

When it comes to relationships, we often carry old cultural ideas about what a man’s role should be—how we show affection, how we interact with others, even how we express love. These expectations can prevent us from connecting authentically with others. But when we step back and question those influences, we can build stronger, more meaningful relationships, based on respect, vulnerability, and genuine connection, rather than outdated stereotypes.

The same goes for our relationship with food. From a young age, we’re influenced by cultural norms and media portrayals that dictate what’s “acceptable.” These pressures often lead us into unhealthy cycles around eating—whether it’s overindulgence or deprivation. By learning to listen to our bodies, we can break free from these limiting beliefs and build a healthier, balanced relationship with food.

Health is another area where societal standards can mislead us. We’re often told what “healthy” should look like, whether it’s the perfect body or the latest fitness trend. But real health comes from prioritising what works for you personally—based on your own well-being, rather than chasing the fleeting trends that society sells us.

For too long, we’ve been conditioned to link our self-worth to what we achieve or how others perceive us. As men, we’re taught to be strong, stoic, and often to suppress our emotions. But true strength comes from within—from recognising our own value, from embracing self-compassion, and from understanding that our worth isn’t defined by what we do, but by who we are.

The pressures to conform and fit into society’s “shoulds” often leave us living on autopilot. But when we recognise these influences, we unlock the power to make choices that reflect our true values. We can move from meeting others’ expectations to living a life aligned with our own aspirations.

We’re taught that traditional education is the only path to success. But success doesn’t look the same for everyone. Real learning happens through life, experience, and the lessons we take from both failure and triumph. There’s no single path to growth, and it’s time to embrace diverse learning opportunities that are meaningful to us as individuals.

Money is another area where we’ve inherited beliefs—scarcity, guilt, and the idea that it defines our value. But money is simply a tool, and viewing it as such allows us to break free from the belief that it somehow measures our worth. It’s about living with a mindset that money serves us, not the other way around.

We’ve also been conditioned to suppress emotions—told which ones are “acceptable” and which aren’t. But real emotional growth happens when we accept and honour all of our feelings. When we stop judging ourselves for feeling, we begin to build resilience and strength that can carry us through life’s challenges.

In a world where we’re constantly connected, it’s easy to lose touch with what really matters. Technology often keeps us distracted, and we miss out on meaningful, face-to-face connections. By setting boundaries with technology, we can be more present in our lives, strengthening the real-world relationships that nourish us.

Finally, spirituality and environmental responsibility have often been shaped by inherited beliefs. But when we take the time to explore these areas for ourselves, we can live with intention and align our lives with what truly resonates with us.

At Rewired for Men, we’re here to support you in breaking free from the conditioning that’s been holding you back. Our programme is designed to help men like you reclaim your life, reset your beliefs, and build the kind of relationships and success that truly align with who you are. If you’re ready to stop living on autopilot and start living intentionally, join us on this journey to redefine your life—on your terms.